By Eberhard Niklaus

Take Control of Your Life: Key Lessons for Success and Productivity

Recently, I returned to a well-known large department store to exchange an item of clothing that was too small for me (I know… I need to lose weight). While I was waiting in the “Goods Return” section, I noticed an adjoining office through its door, which was standing slightly ajar (the one in the photo).

At first glance, you can’t seem to see much but take a closer look. You can see enough to realize that the owner of this office is not in control. Yes, I know some people say that even if their desk is untidy, they know exactly where everything is. But this office is way out of control. There seems to be clutter sticking out from everywhere. Chaos rules supreme in this office!

You must wonder whether the employee in this office can really be productive. Can you imagine this person being in control of their work? Unlikely. And this situation probably extends into their lives as well.

The Lesson: Disorder Reflects Lack of Control

What meaningful lesson can we take from this photo?

I am pretty sure that the employee who operates out of this office also experiences turmoil in his or her life in general. No doubt, this situation cannot contribute to a life of contentment and productivity. This person is not in control of their work (and the same is likely to hold true for their life).

A long-time mentor of mine impressed me many years ago with his approach to life. He often told me that if I want to be successful in life, I need to “be in control” of every aspect of my life. Since then, I have often realized that when things went wrong in my life, it was because I was “not in control.” My life reflected a situation like what you see in this photo – confusion and disorder. When your life is a muddle, it is very difficult to find direction.

Once I took appropriate action to bring things back under control, my life quickly got back on track. Taking control of your life has numerous components, so let’s get specific about where we need to take control.

Taking Control of Your Life

1.       Know and Understand Yourself

It all starts with knowing and understanding yourself. Earlier we mentioned that it is challenging to find direction if your life is in disarray. But first, you need to know where you are going before you can find direction.

Where are you going? Do you have goals for yourself? Are they written down? If not, write them down now, or continue to flounder! More importantly, know, or find, your life purpose.

2.     Take Control of Your Thoughts

Next, take control of your thoughts! Everything begins with a thought. If you believe you are weak, you will act weak. To act confidently, choose thoughts that reinforce your self-worth. For instance, if you are a salesperson, visualise yourself closing the sale even before you arrive at the sales call.

3.     Use Questions to Control Conversations

A technique that is very useful in taking control when you are in a confrontational situation is to make effective use of questions. Questions control the conversation. If your approach is to “attack” with your “so-called” facts, it will usually be met with a similar rebuttal, sending the situation into a downward spiral. Instead, ask smart questions. A smart question is one that will point the conversation in a predetermined direction, with the result already clear in your mind.

The purpose of this technique is not to “win the argument,” but to offer the other person the opportunity of understanding your point of view (and as Stephen Covey suggests in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, seek first to understand the other person’s point of view as well, which is also accomplished by asking questions).

4.    The Power of Good Questions

Questions are the answer. In many situations, using intelligent questions really helps with being in control, so get good at it.

For instance, if a customer is very unhappy with you, even to the point of being abusive, one of the best ways to take control of the situation is to ask questions. Asking questions enables you to take control of the conversation, including emotional aspects of the situation. Good questions have the potential to empower you to resolve the situation.

The Benefits of Control in Your Life

Think about it: it is an enjoyable experience when you feel in control of your life. The opposite is true when you feel that certain aspects of your life are not under control.

For example, how do you feel when the following scenarios are relevant?

• Your tax return is behind schedule
• Important relationships in your life are undergoing stress
• A work or study deadline is looming, and you have not even started
• Your finances are all over the place
• Repairs around the house should have been done weeks ago
• Your health goals are not being met
• You last phoned your mom, who lives on her own, three weeks ago

It is not a comfortable feeling when things are out of control in your life. Now, imagine the opposite of the above scenarios being true. How do you feel now?

Conclusion: The Reward of Taking Control

It certainly is worth the effort to take the necessary actions (initiated by the appropriate thoughts) to be in control of all aspects of your life. It takes some effort, but once the habit is ingrained in a person, it is no longer an effort, and the rewards are well worth it, wouldn’t you agree? (Right there, I am taking some control by asking you to agree with me… Smile).

(Eberhard Niklaus is an author, speaker, facilitator, business coach, and trainer. His business coaching program “Developing the Art of Crafting a Winning Team” has helped many sales and business teams maximize performance, productivity, and profitability.)

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